The Day I Died Part 3 Poem by Annie Cordelia Adams

friends are another story.
i've never had a real friend until now,
but it's too late, because i'm dead.
how will he ever know my soul?
when not even i can find it.
and so, the day i died,
i never meant to make that wish,
now i wish every chance i get
to take that one back,
and make something stick.
i'm glad then, i died,
instead of still dying.
because maybe, i don't want to feel
all the horrible things i'd feel,
if i were still alive that is.
i think being dead can be peaceful.
then i made another f***ing wish.
i wished i were dead, and i never
would feel again.
because i can't stand being reminded
of all the horrible things in my life.
then again, maybe that wasn't such
a bad wish after all...
and maybe i deserve this.
maybe i deserve to live forever,
and never turn back.
maybe i deserve to live forever,
and always look back.
maybe i deserve to be dead
and never change,

but live forever...