The Dust Of No Return Poem by Paul McCann

After the war was over, I returned to Australia and wed,
with severance pay as a kick start we looked at getting ahead.
We checked out this land in the country then borrowed to build our
dream.
Proud owners were we of a cottage in five hundred acres green.
With seventy head of cattle and bottle fed yearlings to keep,
we worked the day in and the night out sometimes without getting
sleep.
Then the kids all arrived on steps, one after the other they
came,
but so did the drought that broke us and we had no insurance
claim.
I prayed hard for a break in the weather but it always looked the
same,
the blue sky had no silver lining and no sign that it would rain.
Lord have mercy they took everything that they could buy or sell.
We left our farm to the flies and the dust and said goodbye,
farewell!
Too hurt to work the land again so a city job I had found.
Though our home was in the country to the city now we were bound.
In a week or two the job fell through and we couldn't pay the rent
.
We looked for something cheaper but it was the same each place we
went.
Run down dirty holes in the suburbs with bonds and two weeks advance.
If only things had been different maybe we would have had a chance
.
We had nothing and had no where to go, I begged for charity.
I felt helpless, my wife cried and I had to comfort her daily.
'Don't worry' I said, 'In good time you'll find depression it does
lift.'
The children started school, the wife got a job - I worked the night
shift.
We argued a lot she threatened to leave I didn't really care, then we
had some marriage counseling and things were under repair.
With the lack of space we were in each others face but still happy. We
learnt to love and we found respect instead of being snappy.

Except for the love of a family all that I had was gone.
We walked everywhere together as the soft summer sun shone.
We moved into a caravan in the winter of a big freeze.
It can take a while to adapt but we all got used to the squeeze.
I got work as a garbage collector and lifted up my head, even though
it was only part time it paid bills and kept us fed.
I found a cleaners job and the money was better than I had. So I said
goodbye to the rubbish and found it helps when you're mad.
Each day at work I was treated like dirt because I pulled my
weight
I kept my nose clean all the time in jobs I had grown to hate.
Then I lost the cleaners job because of a work shortage they said, so I
knocked on factory doors looking for a place to get paid.
In and out of casual work from pillar to post I was thrown, unloading
trucks and spray painting then concreting and lawn mowing.
I still paid the bank what I owed them and now it was almost cleared,
all my hard earned dough was paying back the worst nightmare that I'd
feared.
The heaviest cross I carried was the long standing debt I bore;
with years of hard work I cleared what I owed, then the wolf left the
door.
Although it was easier to sleep when my debts were all paid in
full,
thoughts at times came to haunt me, but I'd learnt control and kept my
cool.
Each night as I closed my eyes I returned back to my shattered
dream.
Back to a country cottage where the cattle gave only sour cream.
In land where rain never fell and dust storms were a hundred feet tall
, building a dream into a nightmare and nobody cared at all.
When the nightmare left and the debts as well we looked for better
times in a future where grass is greener and the warm sun always shines
.
We left the van and moved into a rented house in the suburbs
I cut the grass, dug a veggie patch and grew lots of greens and
herbs.
I found working with the dirt had a therapy, but all the same
I kept thinking about all that land we left time and time again.

The children grew up and were married just as we hoped one day.
My wife and I wrinkled well, our hair now was more silver than
grey.
We settled down in a quiet home in the twilight years of life.
With the children gone we were alone, me and my good faithful
wife.
Simple things in life come free, like who you are and all that you
know.
Common courtesy costs nothing it's just a smile or a hello.
Though these old bones of mine may ache and break I sometimes find a
smile, it sure is a wonderful world and we're only here for a
while.
I've started writing things down as I forget things so easily,
these days I don't know if there are jobs to be done, sometimes I just
can't see.
I can't hear that good either but both of us together understand.
I drift off to sleep still thinking of the day we left the land.
It's hard to forget where roots have been set as mucks sticks to the
plough.
After a drought and a famine there's no doubt where I feel right
now.
I still thirst for water in the summer and sweat rolls down my
face.
Before I sit down to feast I give thanks to God for his grace.
They say you must give to receive, I've gave my life to you.
I've taken the good and the bad and have found somebody who's
true.
So when my times has come to leave this world all that I'll take is my
soul,
you won't see me for the dust I'll be asleep deep down in a hole.

By Paul McCann