The Girl Who Was Good At Drawing Poem by Andrew Matthews

Her name was Babs.
She was a cracking looking girl
though I don't think she knew it.
She was a bit of an enigma
which personally turned me on
she made great spagetti bolognese
though she thought my lasagne was rubbish.

Babs looked a bit like Alanis Morrisette
she may have been good at singing
but her drawings were superb.
She had a party one night
but I'm going to tell you about a different one.

There were a lot of people there
most of whom I didn't know.
She was deep in conversation with some guy
and I wished she was talking to me
but I fell into a booze induced coma
I'd had my chance with the lasagne.
As I said I was in a coma and my cousin
tried to wake me up to go home but
it was no use I didn't stir, though I do remember it well.
I woke and somehow I knew that Stephen, a friend of mine
was still there and so I called out STEPHEN, STEPHEN!
and I found him, he'd been out of it also.
We decided to leave the party, the host gave me a kiss goodbye
her name was Jane, all of a sudden I wanted to stay.
'No' she said 'Go' I said 'Right.'
She seemed very nice, I'd just met her at that moment.

So Stephen and I embarked on an epic journey
to Cambuslang, we were in Shawlands
which is at least 5 miles away.
It must have been about 3am when we arrived at my cousins.
Chap Chap......nothing
Chap chap.....nothing
CHAP CHAP.......nothing and then...
JAMES OPEN THE DOOR YOU FECKINGRUNT(with an English accent)
JAMES OPEN THE DOOR YOU FECKINGRUNT(with a Scottish accent) I know now that he wasn't even there, he was at Babs' in Cathcart, not far from Shawlands.
We ended up at my uncle Ian's, another 2 or 3 miles away in Castlemilk
he stayed in the Mitchell Hill heights.
We were totally Knackered but his sofa and floor and warm blankets were so welcoming we were glad to be there.
And so whenever I walk a long distance for whatever reason,
I think of Ian's warm blankets and for a reason I can't explain
I think of Babs the girl who did such brilliant drawings.