The Haggis Poem by Randy McClave

The haggis the noblest of any beast 
Tonight on it my family and I will feast,
On it tonight we will all dine
Because, today the victory was all mine.
The deadly fierce creature I did meet
We were both hungry, we both were hunting to eat,
One of us was going to be the others dinner
Triumphantly this time I was the winner.
I saw the creature from afar
As it was seeking underneath the northern star,
Then the fierce creature it caught my scent
Then it charged at my descent.
I then saw its claws and its massive teeth
Soon, I thought I'd be wearing a funeral wreath,
It charged me as it was hungry as well
I then thought that I had heard the death knell.
It's eyes were as red as hell below
One of us was going to receive the death blow,
Then I pulled the trigger and I fired my gun
The battle I won.
Tonight I'll be having tatties and neeps
Piled up in large heaps
Next to the cooked haggis served with oats
Served by my wife and daughter wearing their new haggis fur coats.