I sleuthed with Sherlock Holmes, won his cold heart
I posed for Dali naked with a peach
Folk paid on e-bay for my every fart
I shot down Cupid with a well-aimed dart
I meditated on a Ganges beach
I pulled each single Rubik cube apart
I turned Mount Etna to a giant wart
And every dog poo fouler to a leech
I sang like Edith Piaf, off the chart
I studied in Montmartre steeped in Art
Conversed with Dickens, heard Erasmus teach
Kicked over Adolf Eichmann’s applecart
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