The Liver Predicament Poem by Maria Sudibyo

I could wear pretty dress
I could try to be beautiful
But it is not me I look at window

I could say something smart
I could confidently act
But I will not be able to rest 

Will you stop only because
some people say that you can't do that?

I'm fine, I'm well
But nothing could make me dwell
I want to run, I want to scream
I want to reach out my dream

The fun, the way
But nothing enough to stay
I want to break, I want to awake
Because everything felt like a fake

Even though it is only nightmare
For me it is still haunting
Even though it is not real
For me it is still frightening

But I'm not going to plea as a victim
I will not be waiting for blessing
I will take the first chance 
Before I regret about yesterday

I'm strong, I'm tough
But my heart is not rough
I want to laugh, I want to cry
I need a hold and try

Someone's more, someone's better
But I won't jump any lower
I want to be free, I want to soar
Before all I ever do is just roar

The anxiety, the confusion
It is draining my strength
The trouble, the temptation
And I wonder where is the end?

And who dares to aim?