The Soldier Poem by That Boy

The Soldier

Rating: 4.0


It’s nineteen thirty three.
Some lads, a gang of three,
Walking to the office
To buy their liberty.

They signed the page.
They were insecure.
They were underage.
They were immature.

“You’ll get a medal, get a pension,
See the world, get money too.
Just a few years in the army.
Not to do it you’d be a fool.

The crowds around will gather.
All waving you good-bye.
Mum and Dad wait anxiously
With a tear in their eye.

Joining the army’s great at first,
As you march around and run.
Saluting all the generals
Whilst handling a gun.

The time soon came to go out field,
And climb over the edge.
With only a gun, they had no shield.
Other than a pot-hole or a wedge.

They ventured into no-man’s-land,
As their dads had done before.
Came back to base with a broken hand
And some blood and lots of gore.

The underage lad was still alive.
An unhappy year in.
He no longer did the waltz or jive.
And his spirit wearing thin.

The day of battle came again.
The lad now seventeen.
All his friends have died in vain,
Since the time he was fifteen.

“C’mon, get up, it’s battle time.”
Said the colonel in the camp.
It was the same old pantomime.
Acting the joker in the damp.

Before they knew it, they’re on the front.
Shooting Germans down.
Some Englishmen were killed again,
Caught serving the country’s crown.

Screams of death sang like quires.
And the shooting carried on.
Bombs came down and rose as fires.
But the killing carried on.

The young lad in the midst of the action.
Shooting as he ran.
Why did the war bring to him attraction?
Now he’s by the German clan.

So the underage boy turns and runs,
Through the action and the fright.
Gets killed, shot down, by German guns.
And never got back that night.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Deborah Neilson 23 June 2009

Very Well Done. I Must Agree With The Others Though, It Is A Bit Too Long. Try To Minimize The Story, You'll Find The Ryhming Technique To Be Easier With Less. New Poem - Vampire Hunter. Check It Out. (: Fantasy©

0 0 Reply
Wojja Fink 22 June 2009

Soldiers die doing their bit poets keep going and changing their kit but don't ever lose your own special wit........John

0 0 Reply
Jennifer Helton 21 June 2009

I like it a lot good rhyming and better than what I would do good job

0 0 Reply
Ernestine Northover 17 June 2009

I agree with Michael, but basically your poetry has great promise. Try to keep it more compact, placing the storyline in one place, i.e. 'The Trenches', or 'On the Journey to War', ''The Aftermath' etc., try not to put too many happenings into one poem, jumping about with different events within the poem. Keep it to the point. Also if a word is hard to rhyme with, change it for another saying the same thing and try again, you will probably find a word that fits in better with what you want to say and suits the story. Keep up the good work you have potential. Well done. Love Ernestine XXX

0 0 Reply
Michael Pruchnicki 09 June 2009

A bit overdone and a stretch to keep to the rhyme scheme. Edit and revise! All his friends died in vein? You mean vain, right? Came back to base with a broken hand? Just so it rhymes with land? Time came to go over the edge? Trench warfare circa WWI? Whilst handling a gun? Why the archaic word? Carrying a gun?

0 0 Reply
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success