The True, The False And The Dilemma Poem by Syed Mizbahuddeen

For every true word I utter
I feel as though it's a lie
For now, even I, I have no answer
If you ask me, "Do you lie? "
My heart beats with this question
What if I'm not trustworthy?
What if I'm so fickle? I'm so fickle
That you saying I'm trustworthy
Is the only thing that steadies my mind
I have become so lost in this journey
That others tell me where I am
And I have lost myself - I've been so foolish
That others tell me who I am
"So immature, a kid" and so on and so forth
I have lost any might to reject
These things I repeat in my mind so often
That even I have begun to accept
So you say my heart is numb, numb with no feelings
So you beat it black and blue
Until it's crimson walls are bleeding
But then you say "Your heart was meant to be bleeding, wasn't it? "
Dear Lord, if I am a liar
Then so be it, but I beg this
Think of what I would be going through
If half of me thinks all of what I say is false but
All of me knows that it's true