The Undying Love Poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar

There is a central rectangular yard
Bound by cement floor bordered by the steps
Made of granite in that typical house
That I have come in to see the inmates.
That spot on the granite step used by her
To sit on and do embroidery works
Meant for the bride as a friendly gesture,
Came to my mind and brought recollections. 1

Also, the spot on the floor opposite
Where I used to sit writing or doing
Works meant for the marriage came to my mind.
My stay was a month in my uncle's house.
A few days she didn't take notice of me.
The very first day I fell flat for her,
Who, my age seventeen, was a brown tendril,
With a lotus face and a smart walk. 2

The memory sexual is the strongest.
Six decades that passed couldn't erase it.
This is my third visit to this old house.
The second visit was two decades back
To condole the death of the very sister
For whose marriage works I was summoned first.
Now no one is there except one, her uncle,
Who later married her younger sister. 3

Every day dawned with a purpose for me.
Every day brought her there with a purpose.
Which could be the purpose more attractive
Than the feeding of the sexual desire?
In a few days I could capture her eyes,
And in a triangle conversation
I occasionally shared her dialogue.
Pleasure to see each other was in the card. 4

She would wear sari in old fashion-
The gathered folds resting on the right side
Instead of the front as is now in vogue.
She never plaited her hair unlike others.
Instead, she would tuck her loose hair well up
Baring her brown nape, which was my eyes' feast.
Neither slim nor plumb was her body frame.
Neither tall nor dwarf was her appearance. 5

I would time my exit with her return
To her house, which would take ten minutes.
Being a village, lonely the straight lane,
And dusky the time, I could follow her
And chat mono syllable to her nod
And to my delight throughout the way,
Which led the way for the love to blossom-
Her smart walk and poised look lovely to watch. 6

Her father abroad and sister away,
Her mother was the other occupant
In her recently built massive abode.
Her mother, related on my aunt's side,
Would make casual visits with or without
Her daughter to the house where I had been.
Two times when her mother paid her visits,
I went to her house with her planned design. 7

More than ten flight of steps, made of granite,
Led me to enter the front corridor,
From where she took me passing through the hall
Into the floor that enclosed the centre yard.
A lengthy conversation cultivated
Confidence and induced intimacy.
I held her hand and felt the sensation.
That was my maiden love-touch of a girl. 8

She opened the wall shelf where she had stored
A variety of lipsticks and nail polish,
The Burma products that sounded in me
Her modernity that supported my pride.
She gave herself for me to hold her hands,
A lotus bud, and apply nail polish.
Not behind in move, without holding her,
I put lipstick on her lips turning red. 9

I didn't embrace her; I didn't hold her breasts.
I didn't kiss her lips; I didn't seduce her.
Yes, I must build her confidence in me.
Yes, she must put trust in me as her man.
Love overpowered lust in my approach.
She poured her passion in being with me
Rather than throwing her virginity.
A divine love was ours in making. 10

In the next visit, relationships grew
Further with some mild kisses in the course
Of fervent dialogues, where we transacted
To be husband and wife at any cost
As both belonged to the same community
Except that both at seventeen too young
To establish a family so soon.
The tender age finds no fear, no logic. 11

Boys were forbidden to talking with girls.
No chance to see and mingle anywhere.
No cell phone, no WhatsApp and no email.
Yet the passion found its flow between us.
The only person who suspected us
Was my younger cousin and her close friend,
Whose husband's eightieth year function later
I attended expecting in vain her presence. 12

On the eve of the marriage her mother
Was here and I made a trip to see her.
On the day of the marriage, we all went
To the grooms house a few miles away,
When too, taking a bicycle I dashed
To her house, where her mother was not there.
Thus, frequency brought out intimacy.
Inseparable bond grew underneath. 13

The next day break, her mother came to us
To help in the pending post marriage works.
I stealthily left for her house in no time.
Marriage was over, vocation was to end.
I had to depart. It forced us to take
The extreme step and she took me upstairs,
Bolting the staircase door in for closeness.
The house was left with the main door unbolted. 14

We resolved to elope to marry
And declare it to respective parents.
We resolved to undress ourselves
So that we could drink the naked beauty.
She was bold, brave and put trust in me full.
We were bare and together for sometime.
She was against the pre marriage union,
Which I readily accepted and honoured. 15

We forgot the time and that we had been
On borrowed moments in forbidden scene.
The knock at the door down below the stairs
Startled us with shock waves running through veins.
The no other way gave me strength to come down
And unbolt the door to confront her mum
As presumed. She led me to the threshold
And let me out ensuring no witness. 16.

It was breakfast hour when I returned.
By noon my uncle family came to know
And by evening the aunt's brother took me
To my village thirty miles away by bus.
Her mother didn't question me about this
Nor my uncle's side nor my parents' side
And that put on me a quilt too heavy
To bear and I, unburdened, buried
My quest for enquiry and left the pursuits. 17

The person who took me home was the same
Who I saw as the only inmate now.
He married later the bride's sister and settled.
Two days later the news spread to my ears
That she had jumped into her front yard well
The next day morning to end her life, ho.
Could it be due to her mother's assault?
Could it be due to love failure of me? 18

Three decades later she could be spotted
By when she'd got three daughters and son,
And two girls at their teen were married off.
Seven years since our departure, we married
In the same year as I came to know from her.
She had lost her charm and romantic feels.
Maybe her husband earned more than loved her.
Lovable girls get unloving husbands! 19

Her life was not rosy after her husband's
Sixtieth year celebration. Soon
He fatally died. His son's daughter too.
She was under dialysis and died.
Her first-born daughter is in touch with me
And from her I got her parents' photos.
To her I am her mother's family friend.
None of them knew my role as my love wished. 20
27.02.2021