To Know You... Poem by Amanda Saveley

To know you is to love you
Then love you, I cannot
For I could never comprehend
That which you seem to be
And yet, are not
All at the same time

We bicker, nay, fight
Incessantly.
The victor alternates in a never-predictable pattern
In which neither of us really understands until the next bout

I can't ever understand you.
You, for whom I would lay life on line
Allow the theft of my breath before I witness your death
Eyes close once more, never opened
And to look upon your face and know that it would be my last sight,
I would swoon at the mere thought

Yes, I adore you.
You should know that by now.
Though we fight and we fight
Until neither of us has anything more to say
Only a thick silence to cover our naked egos
Our harshly murmured comments
Like knives into flesh
Cutting and slicing
Not to make pain,
Just a point

You once said you felt like throwing your ring across a room.
That ring which I so carefully selected
That ring which I presented to you in bare form,
No more vulnerable than I was when I was borne unto the world
And I laid life and light on line
Simply to prove that which I though needed be reinforced

And I cried at your words.
No,
I broke down.
Not in sobs
Nor curses
Nor scene of hands in hair on ground
I only shed a simple tear that could barely escape
For the walls so carefully constructed and set aside
Were crumbling down to the point of oblivion

I can honestly say I died that day
Just another part of my barely existent innocence
That which I sought in vain to preserve
And nevertheless,
I lost.

To know you is to love you
But I do not know you
I do not see how I ever could
But that preciously preserved ignorance I sport like an outer skin
Will protect me

Until the next time, perhaps...