'Twas The Night Before Christmas - A Parody Poem by H L Pham

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' Luigi's,
Not a drink was stirring, not even martinis;
The glasses were hung by the bar with care,
In hopes that patrons soon would be there;
The bartenders were hoping to be home in their beds,
With visions of Slivovitz plum brandy danc'd in their heads,
And Mama in her tight dress, and Luigi in his fancy sports cap,
Had just settled their brains for a nice Marillenschnaps-
When outside on the pavement there arose such a clatter
Luigi sprang from the bar stool to see what was the matter.
Away to the glass window he flew like a flash,
Tore across the carpeted floor, he fell and almost into the window crashed!
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a parked GT3 Bentley, and eight babes in tiny skirts of cashmere,
With a little old geezer, so lively and quick,
Luigi knew in a moment it might be retired race car driver, White Knight Dick.
More rapid than eagles his girls they came,
And he whispered, then shouted, and call'd them by name:
'Now! Cytherea, now! Katsuni, now! Gauge, and Cassidey,
'On! Shakeela, on! August, on! Honoka and Charlotte Stokely;
'To the counter! To the counter!
'Now pour away! Pour away! Barkeeps, pour away the best Herbero to all! '

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.