Tears In Rain


she wants to unfold her leaves and receive the day

she wanted my sun to rise
she wanted it in her eyes
she wanted no compromise

she wants to unfold her arms and feel her way

she wanted to get inside
she wanted to hold on tight
she wanted to feel alright

she wants to unfold her wings and fly away

she wanted to break my heart
she wanted a whole new start
she wanted to fall apart

she wants to unfold her self in grand display

she wanted it all undone
she wanted to be the one
she wanted love from someone

Submitted: Friday, September 02, 2005
Edited: Friday, September 02, 2005

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  • Rookie Raynette Eitel (9/4/2005 1:39:00 PM)

    I agree with the others that this image of a woman unfolding like a butterfly leaving a cocoon is beautiful. One line disturbes me 'She wanted to feel alright.' This is where rhyming poetry gets dangerous. It looks like you picked that word just because it rhymed. It isn't a strong enough word. No one wants just to feel 'alright.' The rest of your poem deserves more than this.

    Raynette (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mary Nagy (9/2/2005 7:28:00 PM)

    Interesting poem...........I couldn't help going from the visual of a woman to a butterfly. Very nice. sincerely, Mary (Report) Reply

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