Unleavened Heaven Poem by gershon hepner

Most people like their bread to leaven,
but I consider flat bread heaven.

The greatest flat bread made of wheat’s a
delicious, steaming slice of pizza
whose crust is thick, dark brown and rusty,
not soggy please, it must be crusty,
but there are flat breads more exotic,
whose names that rise with hints hypnotic.

There’s lahvosh, that, from Yerevan,
is brought to stores by caravan;
extremely tasty, it’s Armenian,
and great with coffee that is Kenyan.
In Glendale nearly everybody eats a
as much of it as they eat pizza
in other places where they stuff
the crust, and cannot have enough.
There’s carasau that’s from Sardinia
and looks like parchment. Abyssinia
has breads like that, but most have gone
into oblivion, Prester John
took all his secrets to his grave.
There’s bulgur bread that makes Kurds rave;
it’s called Casoki, great to chew;
with mezair salsa let it stew,
and eat it while it’s very hot,
add lemon, too, if you have got.


Real men who don’t, you know, eat quiche,
in Samarkand all eat chekic,
with siyadan, that is nigella,
a spice like charcoal in your cellar.
They punch the dough, make sure it anchors,
till bubbles rise that look like chancres.
It must be flat as pancakes, or
you take it straight back to the store
you bought it in. Uzbekistan
has bakers who all, to a man,
know how to keep out CO2,
but less well than a pious Jew
who bakes his matzos on Passover,
and leaves no CO2 gas over.
because all leaven must be hidden
or burned, it’s strictly then forbidden.

I call our local bread that is our leaven
white trash from Seven and Eleven,
for most of it is far too bland,
and tastes as though it’s baked with sand,
although, when rye is poppy-seeded
I do admit I love to eat it,
but get more pleasure, sometimes utter,
from challah when it’s served with butter,
especially when it is toast,
thought flat bread is what I love most.
With olive oil it’s quite exotic,
and, served by candlelight, erotic.

Published in abbreviated version in LA Times Food Section 11/29/96.



11/22/96,7/25/97, 9/5/97