Untitled Poem by Jackie Hughes

I hate you
Sometimes I hate you more than others
Sometimes less
But all the times
That feeling is there
Like a lead weight in the pit of my stomach
I hate you
You talk of trust
I don't trust you
To not turn on me
Try to change me
You say you just want me to be myself
But you don't
No, you want me to be the
Me you create
Your special robot
Creation that has not
Learned how to have a will
Of its own
You say you just want what's best for you
No, you want what best for you
By making me into something new
Something I don't want to be
A mini you cause being we is
Unacceptable
Cause I'm
Unpredictable
Cause I don't just follow your rules blindly, I question
Everyone and everything
I ask why?
Do you do that?
Why should I do that?
And if I don't like the answer
I search for a new one
I never stop pushing
For something
Anything
I don't know what it is
But I sure as hell can't wait to find out
I'll know that all this was worth it
The pain pushed me towards it
And the tears flowed me closer
And none of it was for nothing
That I can show you and say
"See! This is why! "
Why I never stopped ask
Why I never stopped pushing
And I know you can't see that now
I know you think you're doing what best for me
But you're just turning yourselves into the enemy
Just pushing me to hate you
When I should be near you
But someday I'll show you
That I was headed somewhere
Not just nowhere
That I got there
And what I found there was what
I had known deep down all along
What I had pushed for and cried for
I don't know what for
But I know it's out there waiting for me
Just me whoever I may be