Wallpaper Poem by Ernestine Northover

I went and bought an all-white bath, a washbasin and loo,
The old one was a mushroom shade, and very out-of-date.
I got a friend to install it, at a fair and reasonable rate,
With pottery squares, a shower screen and vinyl flooring too.

It took four day of chaos, with everything ripped out,
With drilling and loud hammering, continuing every day.
But when it was all finished, and the men had gone away,
It was just a new wallpaper, that I had to think about.

I needed to enhance a very discoloured, tatty wall,
Using paper lightly embossed, of a subtle silky cream,
Chosen to match a beige and slightly off-white colour scheme,
So that when observed by others, it wouldn't appal at all.

My daughter measured out the lengths, each fitted so precise,
She quickly and carefully glued them on, with infinite precision,
It took a lot of searching shops, before making my decision,
So many patterns there to view, all such super merchandise.

But I wanted the rolls unadorned, to make the room look chic,
And give a calmness and clarity to soften the whole design,
I somehow knew the one that I had cosen, would be fine,
Such proved to be the case, so it's now looking really sleek.

The room's so smart and 'with it', and truly comtemporary,
I've matched up to the ceiling, to the tiles and to the floor.
I perceive a lovely feeling, when I walk in through the door,
My bathroom's become a haven of pure peace and harmony.

© Ernestine Northover