What I've lost
It wasn't always this way, the way of sadness and aloneness. I used to be happy and comfortable with everything about myself. It turns out once you get older you lose yourself to the point where you forgot the warmth of comfort or the joy and happiness that used to come naturally.
It starts with love. You know, the kind of love that makes you feel like you and that other person are the only humans alive and you have a bond of nylon rope wraped in diamond that could never be broken. By the time I thought I knew what love was she was gone out of my life forever and I had lost love. I kept looking for it though through time and time again I thought I saw it in other girls but I have come to the reality that it's gone out of my life forevermore.
Next I lost care and sense of responsibility. I broke all the rules unknowing that trouble lie with each broken one. I had traded in my common sense for a fun time.
Finally, I lost blood. Either by a razor blade across the skin woven together so careful or an eraser burn down my arm to prove that I can take the pain. I am now left with emptiness, worthlessness, and hopelessness.
I hope someday to buy back my common sense, to dig far enough to find that long lost sense of love, and to get in trouble enough times to where someone glues my care and responsibilty back in my brain.
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