What's Beyond My Mask Poem by Jo M. Maghirang

I have always, always been one who hides,
This tears that fell of my eyes
Unwilling to show - to show what lies
Within these shadows of my soul;
I travel alone with no companion,
I shed tears in secret...

Silent,
Silent tears..

As a write my thoughts right now,
one thin comes in mind -

My one inspiration, the one my heart seeks;
My eyes are blind with tears as I speak,
My hands- numb with the pain that flows through my soul..
The mane of the sun pouring down,
clear the footprints on thin ice,
fear no deception,
the world already lies atop deception...

Where are you?
I've been waiting..
waiting with no rest, refusing to drift into the world
Of dreams and loneliness..

I want you here, right now..
No-
I need you here... with me
But you're not by my side..

It is only when you are gone that I realize my loss,
That I realize what and who I need;

YOU..

I shed my tears for you,
But I do it in silence..
Every lie that passes from my tongue was never from my heart;
My soul yearns for no other than you,
I kept you by my side without you knowing,
I watch, in pain..
Never letting you know..
Not wanting to be but dead weigh;

But I see now,
I see how much I need and want you here;

But I guess it's too late now..

Beyond this mask of pride and courage,
Lies but a weakling -
as a warrior would hide beneath an armor,
I hid beneath a mask-
Showing but grim sarcasm over this pathetic life of mine..

And here I weep;
And you will never know..
That deep within my mask, my love for you burns;
And will always do..
If only you know, If only you see;
These tears that blind my eyes,
This pain that wraps my heart -

You would never understand...
But I will always be there,
Dee within the darkness, gazing..
Gazing at you who is but the sun in my life,
Giving me even a small glimmer of light-

I miss you by my side-
But that I cannot say..
My heart bleeds like a mortal wound that would never heal,
And yet,
Here, there is but nothing I can do..

But let it be know...

How much I still love you,
Beyond this mask of mine..