Whats Next In Life? Poem by Elusive Conclusive

Sitting here on my own wondering how it all went wrong
is it my fault I wonder why, am I a stereotypical guy
looking in a mirror at my expression, writing this poem is my self expression
being on my own my music playing, letting out inner thoughts im afraid of saying
laying on my bed in my room at home, its at this moment in time I feel alone
looking for ways to change my life this cant be done with a rope, gun or knife
if I look at it im lucky in many ways, I have friends, family who get me through the days
but sometimes I cannot help but feel down, looking at ways to turn my life around
don't get me wrong I have gone through tougher times, but that's in the past and no longer occupies my mind
it feels like im here waiting for something else to go wrong, I should be happy that the pain I once felt has now gone
but what to do now with all these paths how do i decide, each day I take coming to a decision is a day less I have to be satisfied
im sure everyone comes to a point of saying to themselves whats next, how did you get through it? I am so perplexed
i need to take a gamble to improve my life, maybe a new job in a different country or settle down and find a wife
if you have read this far you can see that im confused, to help me out on what to do next please leave a comment thank you.