Treasure Island

Stephen Carey

(November 13,1992 -)

While You Weren't Looking


While you weren’t looking,
I was.
I was looking at you.
I was smiling at your smile.
I was laughing at your laugh.
I was falling in love with you.

While you weren’t looking,
I wanted you to.
I wanted you to look at me.
I wanted you to smile at me.
I wanted you to laugh with me.
I wanted you to love me too.

While you weren’t looking,
You
Became my everything.

Submitted: Wednesday, May 28, 2008

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  • Greenwolfe 1962 (5/28/2008 6:01:00 PM)

    Most poets will agree with this formula to instant success
    in poetry. Have a singular clear simple thought and drive
    it home with a repeated line. Hopefully one of uniqueness
    and merit. This line is not unique but it is meritorious. The
    formula is sound and does work here. The writing contained
    a bit of determined emotion that was communicated to the reader.
    This adds to the poems quality. Again, nothing special, but
    nothing to lessen the poem. A 9.

    GW62 (Report) Reply

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