Don'T Let Me Down. Poem by Heart of Ice Die Die Die

I know your confused,
and we need to keep it that way.
Sorry.
But something I WILL tell you is,
it doesn't matter that I'm hurting.
More times then not
I'm breaking inside.
I've been hurt so many times
it never really heals anymore.
It just stops bleeding sometimes.
Even when I'm smiling and laughing
I'm still not usually okay
I put on a mask
for the sake
of everyone else.
I'm sorry for when I hurt you
and I can't do anything right.
But I can't change that.
I'm trying to get better,
and I'm trying to be stronger.
I've been having some problems lately.
Rejection hurts.
It hurts a lot.
You'll never understand just how much I'm hurting.
I don't want you to.
But I'm not telling you this
so you can feel bad for me.
I'm telling you this
so you understand
why I can't smile anymore..
And by letting you you do so
I'm trustin gyou do not to make me regret it.
Don't let me down.

Dec.-29-09