Ted Sheridan Poems

I look to my left....over my shoulder
I look to my right....behind my back
...

She knows how to blow those kisses
into my ear hair and that drives me crazy.
...

Darkness looms from behind his eyes
and he accepts the hand you offer him
Defenceless against his charms
you are but a helpless morsel
...

Fund raising update:
Half the liberals who read the title suffered mild strokes
But all of the conservatives on the other hand enjoyed a rare orgasm….
...

He had just smoked a bowl or two of pretty good weed
And low and behold he was an enlightened poetic genius
Every idea that popped into his newly opened mind
Came from God or the National March of Dimes
...

My gracious
Just look where the time has gone
I’ve been up all night long reading her suicidal letters
Narcissistically composed while eating a bottle of No Dose
...

They come complete with warts, scars and scabs and maybe they’re wearing
Glasses with thick lenses prescribed for their stigmatism or myopic eyes
Some have intermittent teeth and present only the tightest of closed mouth smiles
Putting a club foot or polydactyly hand forward to obtain those extra digits needed
...

The sun is hot today and the humidity is high
Tempers are flaring as the morning traffic gets heavy
Road hogs in tinted SUVs and teamster truckers in Peterbilts
Lap up any remaining sloppy seconds of Ethanol laced fuel
...

Her poems are like so many naked corpses piled into one mass grave
Buried there in an attempt to cover the stench of her life's work
Her jilted lovers and aborted children reach out from the other side
With dirt in their teeth and their placenta covered little hands and feet
...

She sneaks up from behind me
and with her long fingernails
...