Ted Sheridan Poems

Hit Title Date Added
281.
Vichyssoise

Given the little time which remains for me to be convincing
I have decided to present it to you in this short form
I don’t much care for such things served cold…
...

Complaining about the drought won’t make it rain, only flood
And building an ark now won’t help float the argument we make
Our blessings are numbered from the start to finish
And yet we waste them one by one
...

283.
Pottymouth Tinkles Like A Slow Bladder

She draws on everyone’s positive energy like a corroded ground wire siphoning off and stealing each ampere of electricity and sending them into a blackened hole reportedly that of her own mind where it becomes just another wasted and unrecorded unit of nothingness and then after thirty one days she tallies them up and sends you a past due notice in the mail for lack of creativity in so much as you failed to procure any original words in your attempted stab at pinning the tail on the donkey….
Let us examine the meaning of “original word” and “creative word”, pray tell us all, great poet and scholar that you are what are they if not the same as every other word which could randomly be shoveled out of that pee hole you call a brain….
...

284.
Mersey Maggie Was Navigable By Oceangoing Vessels

Behind the double door’s Coat of Arms there is a light which separates the men
From the boys and there in the midst of all which is questionable stands Maggie
With her stained knickers down around her ankles and her nose ring glistening
Like a gold doubloon on a sandy shore or a tooth in old Captain Jacks head
...

285.

Lord help me pay my bills, that's what I said yesterday
As my pen ran out of ink and my bank balance shrank
To nothing shy of the current most recent figures for poverty
Lord help me pay my bills, that's what I said this morning
...

286.
When Nine Out Of Ten Experts Agree

A consensus of brilliant minds offers no absolute proof
as to anything more than proving once and for all
the world is still flat....and we are all about to sail off its edge
...

287.
An Aphrodisiac And Condoms Are Required

A symposium of many diverse people
has collectively been gathered to
sample and taste both the bitter and sweet
heterogeneous fruits of aesthetic labor
...

The King of Rock And Roll died thirty years ago today….
I can remember where I was when I first got the news
My platinum blonde and dumb, Marilyn Monroe looking wife at the time
Entered our living room where I had taken up knitting
...

289.
Day Trader Or Day Tripper Either Way He Was A Loser

A very cocky and obnoxious guy came into my office yesterday about five thirty
He sat down in front of my desk and put his feet up on my couch
He fired up a cigarette even though I'd asked him to refrain
He laughed about the smell of it as the smoke stuck in my nostrils
...

290.
Michael Jackson Who Did Your Nose?

I went out into the sun just to sit a bit
And take my mind off of my mounting troubles
I felt the skin cancer start eating my nose away
So I came in early as not to burn too badly
...

Close
Error Success