Ted Sheridan Poems

Hit Title Date Added
291.

Lord help me pay my bills, that's what I said yesterday
As my pen ran out of ink and my bank balance shrank
To nothing shy of the current most recent figures for poverty
Lord help me pay my bills, that's what I said this morning
...

292.
Pottymouth Tinkles Like A Slow Bladder

She draws on everyone’s positive energy like a corroded ground wire siphoning off and stealing each ampere of electricity and sending them into a blackened hole reportedly that of her own mind where it becomes just another wasted and unrecorded unit of nothingness and then after thirty one days she tallies them up and sends you a past due notice in the mail for lack of creativity in so much as you failed to procure any original words in your attempted stab at pinning the tail on the donkey….
Let us examine the meaning of “original word” and “creative word”, pray tell us all, great poet and scholar that you are what are they if not the same as every other word which could randomly be shoveled out of that pee hole you call a brain….
...

293.
Mersey Maggie Was Navigable By Oceangoing Vessels

Behind the double door’s Coat of Arms there is a light which separates the men
From the boys and there in the midst of all which is questionable stands Maggie
With her stained knickers down around her ankles and her nose ring glistening
Like a gold doubloon on a sandy shore or a tooth in old Captain Jacks head
...

Aunt Cedar knew she was dying a little bit here a little bit there
The doctors all gave their opinions in three minute briefs once a week
Her family had been there supporting her as she was injected
With needles filled with Death's drugs and an Angel's relief
...

He keeps himself guessing moment to moment
Today the pain was in his left side
Yesterday it had been on his right
Next to his nipple and his scar
...

296.
Napoleon Complex And Compelled

Most of the time the more powerful a man is…
The more control he is compelled to exert over others…
But such a man is also more prone to behave as a little boy
I was reminded of this fact when
...

297.
Zero Was Erased By A Fine Looking Ten

Zero was a man who respected only fear
As he would impose fear whenever possible
On any one smaller or weaker than him
He liked to threaten all women with rape
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298.
When Nine Out Of Ten Experts Agree

A consensus of brilliant minds offers no absolute proof
as to anything more than proving once and for all
the world is still flat....and we are all about to sail off its edge
...

299.
Nothing Say's Peace Like Victory

Note to Al Qaeda and all you Wannabes:

If you want me then come and get me
But be forewarned you godless bastards...
...

300.
I Didn'T Live For Over Two Hundred Years To Die In Your Arms

I am nearing the end of my life cycle
each day the Rigor Mortis seeps in deeper
from my loss of spine and conviction to my principles....
I have become a coward...afraid to move
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