Jingle bells,
Bingle jells,
Santa Claus on crack,
He comes down the chimney again
...
Crazy things happen at Halloween
In a crazy town, it's true.
Like when a skeleton went to the pub
To use the loo!
...
Let's all have a cup of tea,
Even though the weather is bad.
There's storms predicted on the telly,
It might make us sad.
...
I hate it when companies don't pay tax
I really think they are very lax
I'm tempted to send them an angry fax
I'd love to give them a few whacks
...
Bruce Forsythe is many years old,
He has a nice moustache.
If you don't like Bruce Forsythe
I say you're being harsh.
...
Crazy Crack Christmas
Jingle bells,
Bingle jells,
Santa Claus on crack,
He comes down the chimney again
To take the presents back.
Santa eats Christmas cake
With his crazy face,
Rudolph defecated on the garden,
What a crazy place!
Cruisin' around on his Christmas sleigh,
Playing some 50 Cent!
Santa's got to steal all the presents
So he can pay the rent.
Jingle bells,
Jingle bells,
Let's all have a mince pie,
For Santa's Crazy Crack Christmas
Is now going by.