xolisa stuurman

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
Measure.
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Beautiful soul…
I didn’t realize until another being reached out for my piece of writing.
With the corners of her smile,
I caught a glimpse of my soul, that I am a beautiful soul.
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In my dreams
I peacefully lay on my bed with my beautiful face on white linen,
That smells of bodily fluids that fuse against each other.
Exhaling air through nostrils,
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How does one begin…?
Begin to move away from the things that do not best describe one.
Refrain from wearing the same shoes day in and out,
To a point where one lose realization of how small, big or weary the shoes have become.
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These Eyes


These eyes are created to care for me to see
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I once imagined it, but happened for real.
The touch tantalizes my body one moment i turn rigid,
and the next enveloped with careless motions.
The beat accelerates as the vapour from his lip condenses in my ear.
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I’m heart broken and in pain
The future lies in vain.
Certain of where I’m going,
Where I come from remain a wonder.
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Everytime i awake next to me lies a pain.
No matter which side i turn, it hurts even more than it did yesterday.
I curse and lay a quest to be left alone.
Yet am not understood why not delight in this vain.
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It doesn't matter anymore...

Whether the birds fly or the river runs through
Children are playing or uncles gone fishing
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I can‘t give up on love.
Though twice this heart has been torn in half.
Bled until blood could squeeze no more.
Moving vigorously for another chance to feel,
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Colour me blind so to shield me from a view.
Let me not see, hear or feel.
Allow me to dispair and not inspired.
Give a way to devil's work and let me be.
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I ran a bubble bath for him
Lit a candle with a scent of honey
Made him feel special with my own money
He gave me a smile
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Listen to a footstep as it taps around and about.
In corridors and passages that lead to gates,
Though closed it manages to break through bars
And land softly on ears close and far.
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The most perculiar thing about love, life and relationships it happens in the future, yet highly influenced by our past.
No matter how much we try to run away from it.
It's behind our unconscious mind, constantly reppear in the present.
A form of resurrection which goes to sleep with a dose of happiness.
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Who am I to think as I think?
Who am I to speak as I speak?
To be as I am.
To be what I can be.
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Don’t be afraid…

It was never an intension to love him; it was a blessing to fall in love.
Little did I know how a blessing can cause distractions, just because of love?
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