01 - Trained Flea Poem by George Hunter

</>While grooming his dog,
This man found a flea
And he thought,
By gum and the powers that be,
I’ll train this flea
And then we’ll see
If he can make my fortune for me.
So he trained this flea
For a real long time
And skimped and saved his every dime.
Worked with him until
He could do it all with ease.
Even do tricks on the flying trapeze.
He could drive a car and open a tin
And even dance on the head of a pin,
He could rhumba and tango
And do the Spanish fandango.
And the contests he’d always win.

Now he was ready to see what this flea could do
And take him out for his debut.
Went down the stairs and got in his car
And drove uptown to his favorite bar.
Sat on a stool next to a girl
And thought, I’ll give this flea a whirl.
Got out the match box
And set it on top of the bar
And got out the flea and his little car.
The flea started in on his repitoire
Hoping to astound the whole damn bar.
The guy said to the girl, whose name was Liz
Now what do you think that creature is?
And she said, You mean that bug,
Hopping all around there
Prancing and dancing without a care.
She said, That’s a flea
Do you think I’m dumb?
And she reached over
And mashed it with her thumb!

At first he couldn’t believe his eyes
It was to him such a great surprise.
I spent half of my life that flea to train.
Now my fortune is all down the drain.
I think for a while I’ll just sit here
Hoping that I can see my way clear
Barmaid, bring me a shot and a beer!

After a bit he felt better because
A few more shots gave him a buzz.
He said to the girl, You did me a favor
I was getting too attached to that little shaver.
Got to get back to my usual pace
And try to rejoin the human race.
So let’s blow this joint and go to my place.
We can have some more drinks, and moreover
We can both lay down and talk this over.