#277 Common Nonsense Poem by Jimmie Arrington

Twice upon a midnight blue,
I found a jelly bean.
I chewed as fast as I could chew,
It tasted sweet and green.

Swiftly I began feeling ill
And thought I might up-chuck.
It gave me fever and a chill
But plenty of good luck.

And in the blink of an eye,
The world I knew had changed.
The colors of the earth and sky
Had all been rearranged.

You won’t believe the things I saw,
But I’ll share anyhow.
There was a dwarf who liked to draw
As he rode a lilac cow.

A flying head came whizzing by
And spit out little pearls.
It scared me so and made me cry
But amused the boys and girls.

So I bounced on the diving board
Three times then jumped right in.
I soared so high with wielded sword,
Landing in an ocean on gin.

I dove down to the bottom floor
To search for hidden treasure.
But all I found was a thrifty store
With toys to use for pleasure.

Like a frisbee and a turtle shell
With golden polka dots.
A glowing can of Spam, as well,
And a side of tater tots.

Suddenly standing eight foot four,
Pirate Pete began a jig.
He jumped ten feet off the floor
As he munched on bits of fig.

As I watched this silly sight,
A princess approached my side.
She spoke like a toddler might
Whose baby squirrel just died.

“Have you seen my magic bean?
I lost it yesterday.
It tastes rather sweet and green
And makes the fiddlers play.”

My negative reply wasn’t truth,
In fact, it was a vicious lie.
She answered while licking her front tooth,
“May I taste your inner thigh? ”

Of course I told her yes, you see?
I’d be crazy to say no.
Then handing me a white lily,
She whispered, “I have to go! ”

And as she skipped away from me,
She threw a paper plane.
She wrote inside, printed neatly,
“I love you. You’re insane.”

I opened wide, swallowed the note
And rushed home to meet the queen.
And as I ran, a witty baby goat
Dropped a small jelly bean.

Again upon a midnight blue,
I pick up the jelly bean.
I chewed as fast as I could chew,
It tasted sweet and green...