The guy in front of me at 7-Eleven
takes forever to make up his mind,
savoring the power in his finger
as he points it like a dowser
at the colored cards
he hopes are lucky today:
Scratchers, Fantasy 5, Daily Derby—
and don''t forget the Power Ball.
He nonchalantly pulls a thick
wad of bills from his pocket,
takes off the clip,
and like a card shark
finesses several
off the top onto the counter,
peons doing his bidding,
as he tries to make
the moment last.
ah yes, the real power of poetry - to capture the deeper thing running along under ordinary things. Wonderful, Max!
I think you gave us some 'backhand' knowledge here, Max, and it is this..Ordinary people stand in line, huffing and puffing in impatience, wondering where to go next or what to do, but a true poet like you sees beyond, into, deeper, and with more feeling. Fascinating that in so few words you pinpoint the sometimes hopelessness of our lives.
Skillfully observed, the power of this poem is in it's ability to get the reader to delve deeper. Great imagery too. Kind regards. Justine.
Beautifully constructed analysis of weakness masquerading as power.
At first I thought this should end with 'diet coke, ' but then I realized the remark about illusion of power applies equally as well to the person waiting to get his 'diet' coke. Aside from that, this reads as, and might as well be, prose. I think there's a conflict in this situation between greed and pathos that could be explored more effectively. You might want to start with the diet coke sentence and go from there.
I like poems in which the poet isn't there very much - the air seems sp much clearer. That's some pitchfork you left in the guy in the last couple of lines!
Liked this Max. An interesting take on a common occurrence. -chuck
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Max what an excellent capture of an ordinary day experience! Had me laughing at the poetic justice, and do hope those who read will think about the person behind them usually paying cash. I would end it at 'diet coke'... Thanks for sharing :)