Treasure Island

Sidi J. Mahtrow

A Chicken is not a Bird

A chkn na be a byrd
Acord'n folk lvn in flori da
Kep'n and own'n be difernt
If be a tigr or sknk kept
An' a' th hair cutn shp r paloor for trm
Word is one's pets is one's own prblm
So be it, tha list of crtures kept, grws lngr by da
Cept'n when are feral, as n dog and ct stray
Thn becms nuher mat'r
For nebors blathr.

Whn pkins gd, thn no problm
But whn pks in yr flwr bd, much to be mad then.
Frm tm to tm thngs gt out of hnd ‘n
Complnts ‘n words for cert n.
So Gvrmnt coms to soln
Of problms b'for problms xst for som.

But na be a ckn a byrd?
Cuse if it be a byrd,
Thn it lv in a byrd sanctry free
An can na hunt, na hrt, na molst byrdees
So wa to du?
Mybe pas law that sy to you,
'Chkn na be byrd'
Thn ok to hv fer Sundy Dnr n vite Prechr for Holy wrd.
N hisn wfe cuse good Chrstn man and wom'
Enjy, chkn in fryn pan.

So law pasd that say chkn not a bryd so
They mst sty a' home an' na go.
Howsome evr, bryds (an chkns also) cnt rde
An thy kpt do n wh' brds an chkns do bst to feed.
Which be to go whr God low such,
Which fr mst prt is nxt dr's grdn and frnt prch.

So Bartow Flor da hird a chkn ktchr
To gathr up dose brds and tk to the cntry sid, u betchr.
Tha's nic but brds (scuse me – ckns) got oth id
An flew coup, so to say, or fle.
An those toke out side cit lmts make it home just
Lk homn pgns and r thr for supr like norml ckns cum to rost.

Yu ake how solve mstry of chkns?
Smpl. Persons who compln'd aked to lv town
Now Bartow got pln't chkns an gud ppl all rnd.

Well, maybe Robert Burns writing in his Scottish dialect, might have considering the plight of the good folk of Bartow, Florida. Maybe not, but Benjamin Franklin thought we had too many ltrs in the alphabet and suggested the number could be reduced to seventeen or so.

Submitted: Sunday, April 23, 2006

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Comments about this poem (A Chicken is not a Bird by Sidi J. Mahtrow )

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  • Bri Edwards (6/9/2014 12:26:00 AM)

    So be it, tha list of crtures kept, grws lngr by da.....did you mean....da day?
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Howsome evr, bryds (an chkns also) cnt a chicken writing this? if so, the chicken msspelled byrds. ha ha
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    An thy kpt do n wh' brds an chkns do bst to feed.....the chicken writing this is not consistent! send it back to the farm! :)
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    .... might have considering... ................i cn't elp meself. i mus pint aut ers i fine. ope u don mine.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    well, i think i understood most of this 'unique' poem. ye, florda is kinda gon tuh thu byrds. thanks for sharing. bri :)

    p.s. i believe hebrew is written without vowels, but i don't know how many consonants are in the hebrew alphabet.

    p.p.s. i found the first two comments posted here to be quite funny. (Report) Reply

  • O Anna Niemus (6/3/2008 8:01:00 AM)

    the butchers want us to believe chickens are not birds though when
    they are free they fly to the lowlying branches of trees (Report) Reply

  • Ivor Hogg (5/26/2008 2:52:00 PM)

    thick dialect but I persevered and found the effort worth while.My own local dilaect is nigh incomprehesible to to outsiders. American english and English english do bear some slight similarties. Perhaps Franklin was right. (Report) Reply

  • Elysabeth Faslund (7/4/2007 5:17:00 PM)

    I raise chickens and well do I know the garden problem. Stripped my bell pepper plants and started on the tomatos. That's when I put the fence up. And the neighbors can put their windows down at night, if they can't sleep cause the rooster's crowing. Homestyle fried chicken, oh yeah. This poem is funny! Witty and quite to the point! Do another! ! xxElysabeth (Report) Reply

  • Chris Mendros (4/20/2007 9:30:00 AM)

    'tws a chre t' gt thru, t'be sh'r, bt wrth th' effrt.
    Okay, enough of that. In the manner of Robt. Burns is no mean feat, but you pulled it off.
    Maybe we do have too many letters... (Report) Reply

  • David Harris (2/24/2007 10:26:00 AM)

    Sidi, sorry I can't say much on this. The writing in dialect threw me on this. For as much as I could decipher it sounded humours.
    David (Report) Reply

  • Yen Cress (9/12/2006 2:46:00 PM)

    Sidi, I truly love your sense of humor (and a 'Begone w'ye' to those who canna oondrstan' wot ye be meanin'! }!

    Yen (Report) Reply

  • Michael Gale (5/6/2006 11:16:00 AM)

    The typo's in this poem is very atrocious and sloppily done.I liked Archy The Flying Cockroach, but could not make heads or tails of this gibberish gobbleeygook. An investment of a dictionary of the English language would be your next move so you could make all the numerous spelling corrections.
    There have not been any comments on this poem probably because other readers probably could not decipher this coded scramblage. God bless and best regards-Mike Gale. (Report) Reply

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