A Perfect Paradox Poem by Kitty Marie Lucas

I’m perfect.

It took so long...
You have these standards, and I just keep falling short.
My convictions, talent, and beauty are all too shy of what you want.
If I’m good enough to be a saint, you still won’t love what I do,
until I’m the mirror image of a same-aged you.

And I’ve tried so hard not to become
something that has always made me sick.

(Your hypocrisy doesn’t hurt you, because it kills me every time instead.)

You say so much
that says so little,
and you can be so blind, you have no idea.

I’m alone in a sea, in a storm, and the waves just keep beating me down.
You always thought you could walk on water, so I’d wait for you to help me
then drown.

I always try so hard to get you to see me,
but you can’t see past yourself.

(I never thought righteousness could be so wrong.)

I loved you because I knew it couldn’t be helped.
You’ll never know any different.

But you can’t love me—
until I do better.

My perfect isn’t good enough.

So I’m better now, here;
I’ve become so wrong…
but at least you see me for what I am.

Even if I’m only you.