A Poetic Menage Á Trois Poem by Margaret Kollmer

James Clarke, the funniest columnist in South Africa, hosts a special place in his column for 'pomes' as against poems. He says pomes are awful verses but he can't stop his readers from 'unindating' his column with them.

One of James' loyal readers, Barry, wrote to him suggesting that James find a 'pote laureate', i.e. the writer of the very worst pome. When James advertised this fact in his column, he spelled 'laureate' 'loreate' in keeping with the spelling of 'pome' as against poem.

Barry replied thus:

My thanks for publishing my rhyme
(I pen these things from time to time)
But 'Loreate' for 'Laureate'?
Is this a simple quirk of fate
Or is it your way of telling
Of a problem with my spelling?

James replied:

In this Pote's Corner we
Dispense with words like 'poetry'
Instead we print readers 'pomes'
(Can even write of garden nomes) .
This Corner's for bad pote-ree
Not for anything litter-ree
Thus the spelling of 'loreate'
Was, my friend, deliber-ate.

All of which caused me to reply to James:

I never thort that I would see
A pome wot was writ by thee
In all the years wot I have writ
I never see'd such spunky grit.
And so to eeze my own surprise
I think you orta win the prize.

Tewwibul po-tree you must agree: -)