Whose homes are these, they never say
Both big and small, here they all lay
Among the gnawing rodent and the hungry tick
Ticking while the lonesome time dawdles away
I stood in admiration for this silent race
Sleeping in peace, while flowers sprout in grace
Undisturbed by hate, or jealousy, or greed
For each man knows his final resting place
.
Amid the pleasant solitude, I a hibiscus pick
.
Its red petals are gentle, lovely and thick
Outside, the deflowered world awaits
Its' so withered, so appalling, so sick.
A walk through the cemetry, envying the peace
Its real how sheep and wolf both lay in peace
A walk through the cemetry, where all struggle cease
Its real how sheep and wolf both lay in peace
Okoye - I like your contrast between the corrupt outside world and the innocence of the cemetery... You recreate a convincing scene with your vivid descriptions... I enjoyed this. jim
Great piece of work. Keep it and let us also learn from you. Thank you. E.K.L.
This is a good poem. I think some words can be taken out so the rhyme feels less forced.In my opinion editing our work is often about getting rid of unrrdrd words. I think someone is less likely to finish the read if there is more description, simale or metaphor than required for the poem. Like I said though this is a good and well read poem, so verry fer words taken out would make this the epitomic version of this writting. The best we can do is the best we can do..lol.
a strong message conveyed here..beautifully expressed..after all this is the final destination of the physical body
At the end of the journey of life, we all are equal when we lay in our final bed. again a nice poem. A friendly advice, just mind the grammar a little bit :))
I think this is a fine piece of well observed poetry with a real message. Obviously written from the heart it shows the finer side of you, the poet. If you want me to critique the poem from a grammatical viewpoint please message me, I would be happy to do so. Well written.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
i think i finally got what you were trying to say in the last few stanzas. how everything is equal in death? or something along those lines. :) anyway, really awesome poem!