Adopt Me Poem by Patti Masterman

Adopt me-
I'm potty trained, self-feeding:
I just want to write poetry,
I won't get in the way
Of your best laid plans and desires.
I don't want to frustrate your projects,
Or else play clueless Edith
To an irritable Archie
Even if I am a worthless amoeba
In the greater scheme of things.
I can live on beans;
I just need some room to write,
And a flexible schedule sometimes.
I don't expect to be taken out,
Feasted, feted, or plied with liquor,
I'm old enough to take care of myself
But still young enough
To always be in the way.
I'm not a child;
Don't need to be punished anymore.
I'll write poems for all your friends,
I'll write a novel memorializing your life.
I just need saving, a little help out.
Adopt me, and I'll send you my photo;
Just dollars a day;
Or, for a bit more-
I won't send the photo.