Barry Van Allen


Alternative Lyrics # 1 (The Panty Man)


It's two O'clock on a Saturday,
and the regular bunch stumbles out,
There's a young man far away from me,
who was spry, but He finally passed out!

I'm not young, but I have a few memories,
from back when I used to smoke dope,
It was short, although sweet,
and I knew them complete...
When my friend wore his wife's panty hose!

You play along, your'e the panty man,
even if they are too tight,
your boxers on her, are still looking good - Sir,
but, her panties on you don't seem right!

In the John by the throne is a friend of mine,
He's giving back drinks for free,
He swears it's no joke,
and he'd much rather croak,
That means nothing to those that must pee!

Still, I believe this is ludicrous,
she knows they do not fit you well,
she want's you to dance, and to shuffle and prance,
and you would rather be burning in Hell!

You call yourself a surealist,
as you try to hold on to your wife,
she knows your'e her ' Boy - Toy ',
... and that she is in charge,
and probably will be for life!

You are waiting for just the right moment,
to tell all the guys at the docks,
you are sure there are others,
and if they had their 'druthers' ,
they'd be home by 7 o'clock.

But, you play along...
Your'e the ' Panty - man ',
even if they are too tight,
your boxers on her are still looking good, Sir,
but, her panties on you don't seem right!

She's pretty proud of her fantasy,
and gives you a wink and a smile,
then she opens the drapes - - -
and exposes your grapes, in her panties...
... The neighbors go wild!

They start clapping, and cheering, and pointing,
and you just want to run for the hills,
but , you run to the courts,
and you file for divorce,
making sure you are still in her will!

You will always be known as the ' Panty - Man ',
even though they are too tight,
your boxers on her are still looking good, Sir,
but, her panties on you don't seem right!

Submitted: Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Edited: Wednesday, December 22, 2010

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Comments about this poem (Alternative Lyrics # 1 (The Panty Man) by Barry Van Allen )

  • Rookie - 0 Points Chuck Audette (5/11/2007 9:13:00 AM)

    'sing us a thong, you're the panty man' had been in my head all day! - chuck (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Chuck Audette (4/16/2007 1:25:00 PM)

    there's nothing like a little nylon on
    to get the sex life rocking
    but as the wife looks on
    her smile has gone
    for I've put a run in her stocking!

    -chuck. Fun one, Barry! 10 from me! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michael Gale (2/4/2007 2:08:00 PM)

    I just had to give ya a ten fer originality of subject or theme. I never would have thought of this topic-No Way! I would never wear my wife's panty's.
    Ouch! Way too tight to even comprehend on the hinney kind sir.
    I've smelled pantys b'for but never tried them on-Never will.
    My favorite are the thonged type of panty.

    Nothing looks better on or compliments a woman's bunns more than a thong...
    You know i'm right and not even wrong.
    God bless all poets-MJG. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Diane Violet (1/18/2007 9:10:00 AM)

    LOL....have to agree with Dee........fine presentation! Barry.................Diane (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »

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