As I looked out the window
birds soar across the sky,
O how I envy their freedom,
their realm ever so high.
I remembered America's liberty,
and how this country began,
when settlers came and started
a new life with their clan.
And now, so many many years later,
this world a dark place.
But America is still shining,
with all it has to face.
Miranda, This poem was very short for the profound subject of which you wrote. I agree that brevity is sometimes the best policy but perhaps you might develop your thoughts with a few more verses. Also, rhyme is not necessary and shouldn't be forced. Confidence in writing is built by writing. Keep going. Best Wishes Rusty
I like this poem best, of the ones you have submitted so far, Keep wrtiting from the heart, I feel sometimes like you are striving to rhyme every line, dare not to rhyme, I think you have some great thoughts in your head that need expressing, as shown in what you have written so far, read other poets, lots of styles, not just ones you like! It is really stimulating and makes you see things often in a different perspective. Keep up the good work! Regards, Lucy
I read somewhere that good poetry is an outpouring of the soul, which is clearly what this is. But this is not good poetry, this is excellent poetry. I look forward to reading more of your work. Sincerely, David.
There is something about words that make me giddy with joy... Lol I really love your use of the 'realm ever so high.' I guess it conjures up soaring towers that soar... Now, I figure you probably don't care how I feel about the second stanza but I'll tell you anyways... I'd like to feel a connection to...longing for freedom and what once was... I think its the word 'clan'... Okay I'll be quiet... I think this poem is very well written and I look forward to reading more of your poetry- ^_^
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
As I looked out the window birds soar across the sky, O how I envy their freedom, their realm ever so high. Beautiful use of words, keep up the good work. Nickie