Amman My Unrequited Love Poem by nadia abduljabbar

Why Amman? ?
You compel me to have contradictory
Feelings for you why,
Why my Amman,
Why do I love you
And fear you
In the same time?
Why do I long to see
You and once I reach
Your semi green valleys and mountains,
I feel so confused? !

Why my dear city
You insist to kill my soul?
Is it because the memories
Of my happy and adventurous
Youth is buried in your soil,
Or because my last love
Has become part of your dust?
You were once our meeting point
But you refused to open your arms
Or heart
For us and we were lost in the Wilderness.

Why Amman you look
Like a prison of walls
To me now?
While once you were my gate
To happiness and freedom,

Why materialistic ways of living
Is killing your people who once
Looked so intellectual and liberal
Why is it killing them
As jealousy killed my best friends
Who were living on your land
Who changed just like you
with the passage of time;
With the years
Of absence? !

Where are your green sceneries,
Where have they disappeared,
Why could the hand of time
Change you to a sterile land,
Why my first beloved city
After my homeland,
Why my wonderful home
You put an end
To all of my dreams and hopes
Of whatever is beautiful
Of whatever charmed
My heart and MIND? ? ? ? ! ! !