An Old Girlfriend Poem by George Hunter

As I was walking down the street
An old girlfriend I chanced to meet.
.... I hugged and kissed her on the nose
.... She said how very apropos
What a wonderful way to greet.

She asked how was I doing
I said, Doing a lot of screwing
.... Mounting cabinets on the wall
.... With lots of screws so they won’t fall
And I’ve given up on wooing.

She said it was OK
That I didn’t have to pay
....A freebie for old times’ sake
....Since you were such a rake
And I didn’t know what to say.

I said I hate to leave you in the lurch
But I recently joined the church.
.... I said now that I’m a Witness
.... It has left me kinda witless
As for redemption I make my search.

They tell me the question is moot
Since some dame ate of some fruit
....That I shouldn’t do it anymore
....On the bed or on the floor
Since I’m a new recruit.

But my conscience was a’draggin’
And my will power a’saggin’
....Though it’s against my new code
.... Let’s do one for the road
Then I’ll go back on the wagon.

When a woman is on the make
Abstinence is hard to take
....Didn’t take much to seduce
....This young recruit
Especially for old times sake.