You, out there, who read this, AND are agriculturally-adept,
may be surprised at my definition of (see title) , AND ……with WHAT I've slept.
I came into this world, born of two married humans; I'm sure
most of you were too.
But NO human wife I'VE had. Instead, when I think 'animal husbandry', I think of 'ARF', or 'QUACK', or 'MOO'.
My first wife (I was her 'husband') was a long-haired Collie bitch.
When she met me at the door each night, her graceful tail did twitch.
She'd nuzzle me behind my right ear, with her pointy nose,
and if she said she was 'in heat', to the occasion I often rose.
She left me for a Pit Bull, Pete, who'd once been my best friend.
I KNOW he was more handsome and made more money. My first marriage thus did end.
My next wife was a Mallard (a duck; a hen) : I met her at a pond.
It was 'love at first sight' for me, ....and I'm sure, of me, she was fond.
I helped her build a nest one year, but there were no fertile eggs to follow.
That I could not have ducklings with her, was very hard for me to swallow.
We thought about adopting. The agency said …………..'NO WAY! '.
After that we drifted apart. No alimony did I have to pay.
A year later, passing a pasture, I found my current wife, Daisy.
She's the cutest cow I ever saw. She drives me udderly 'crazy' …..
with thoughts of how I should have met HER first. She's been my favorite wife.
I live with her in the country, …..to avoid the city pollution and strife.
No children we want, my looks are fine(with her) , she doesn't mind being poor.
And now when I run out of milk, I don't have to 'run' ….to the grocery store.
(June 16,2014)
So it was a cow, the idea of change is always entertaining. An old man said at this age of 70 I can; t think of anything new, with the exception of a new wife.
lol, very entertaining. Daisy sounds very nice, and it's probably best you didn't meet her first, you became the person you are as a result of your past.
Haha! This is great Bri! Very creative! And I have to agree with the cute cow thing.....those big brown eyes are killers! Love this piece....needed a good chuckle today! Kudos!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
What a great piece of humor! You are so adept at playing with words, and your brain has no dearth of ideas! You have described your different wives, likening them to different animals according to their nature so humorously! She drives me udderly 'crazy' - LMAO!