At Home At Justin Trudeaus House Poem by Kevin Patrick

Justin Trudeau wife - "Justin, our budgets underperforming again, I thought you promised me we would be back in the black by 2019"

Justin Trudeau - Sophie my Athena of empowering supremacy, I was under mistaken impressions that the house that we bought was in better condition then what it was, but it appears that the previous tenants with their shameless disrespect for Canadian values were too busy cleaning their white sheets and making effigies to burn on immigrant lawns, then they were about the stability of our house. So instead of a projected increased in our value for the deadline I had made, it appears we are going to have to wait until 2051 for anything good to happen to us. But have no fear my embodiment of female empowerment, I will be running long term deficits with emphasis on progressive programs that will please everyone will like but which I cannot simply afford. I'm sure that if I just spend money that I don't have to balance out the debt then everything will just magically balance itself out.
Justin Trudeaus wife - But if you try to solve everything with long term deficits without any fixed resolution with the limited amount of money we have, wont that just create a vicious circle of increasing debt that won't actually fix our house?

Justin Trudeau - It probably will, Trust me everything will be alright in forty years as long as I am in charge, with your invaluable assistance of course for you are my equal partner even though Im a little more equal. Now I apologize unconditionally, for I am going to smoke some blunts with some billionaire family friends and listen to the new Ani Defranco album which I know is going to be an amazing work of progressive values.


A few day later

Justin Trudeau's Wife- Justin you promised that you were going to fix the post box and open it to reform, you said that before we moved in but the post box is still broken and out of date.

Justin Trudeau - Sophie the wise one of my life, I understand I made a promise to all the neighbors especially the younger once that want a reformed eye sore, but I put it to a specially elected committee that consulted many Canadians from coast to coast, and it shows that there is no clear consensus of what to do with the post box, or preference for electoral reform of the post box, thus it's not in my mandate to fix the system since the vast majority of people don't want me to fix it I know I made sure I paid people to say they didn't want it fixed.

Justin Trudeaus Wife - But Justin you fibbed! You said before we moved in you were going to fix that eye sore of a post box but now you're not going to even do that! Young people were relying on you to be different.
Justin Trudeau - Well I do apologize but it simply cannot be done, I do it in the interest of all my neighbors and those neighbors of neighbors, I understand the passion and intensity of those voices, but I looked at it and if we changed the post box it could lead to extremists voices in the neighborhood, if you excuse me I have to seriously elbow some chauvinists, who dare criticize Lena Dunham who is the female Shakespeare of the 21 century.


A couple more days later.

Justin Trudeau's Wife - Justin I just saw that Syrian man poison his children. Then that insane loudmouth American man intervened by physically assaulting him, now that crazy Russian is getting involved and things are really escalating to a boiling point. What do we DO! ! ! ! ! !


Justin Trudeau stays silent for a long time, like a computer frozen without proper input commands, and then he starts to speak as if the act of speaking is a labor beyond his will that requires a PR team of specialists who are not currently in his presence, to be tell him what he should be doing.

Justin Trudeau - err…… umm Maybe I should get my guitar and sing sunny days? .... the Syrian man is bad…. I don't know what to think! .... JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!


It's at this time Justin Trudeau barricades himself in his office, hiding under his desk with his left thumb in his mouth, crying about sunny ways.