Away Poem by Kelly Chapman

Everyone I ever loved I have pushed away.
I don't know why I thought you were here to stay.
Like Beyonce, I thought I was underneath your halo.
But I look up and have singelhandedly put out your glow.
You have to deal with the cutting, the jealous, and the drugs,
But before you leave, please listen, let's reminisce.
See if I can't change your mind and end this meeting with
tears of joy and a kiss?

Looking back at my fiance, my first love,
We were so young, but for me, I knew he was the one.
Without him I didn't think I could go on.
He cheated on me but somehow it was still my fault.
He told me I had to move on, so I put a shotgun in my mouth.
and pulled the trigger. Too bad for me, the bullets weren't in there...

Moving on to seventeen, I thought I met the man of my dreams!
We hooked up at the hotel, he was worth millions,
he poured me some vodka,
I didn't know he'd put GHB in it.
My last memory is him on top of me yelling, 'Be still and stay quiet! '

I got married hardly a year after that.
It'd be ok, but I'm getting tired of being yelled at.
I'd do anything to get away, and so would you,
If your most vivid memories were of him hitting you...

I was pregnant once and lost my baby,
but I know junkies give birth like every day.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be
but I think since I loved her, she had to be taken from me.

Now here we are.
You in your shining amour.
I thought you'd protect me. Tell him
'No! I won't let you harm her! '
Instead you're here frowning, you keep looking down.
I guess I should have known even though you 're the best,
I'd ruin things..push you away like all the rest.
So should I take a bottle of pills? Maybe cut my wrist?
Slice the vein? Either way I'd welcome some physical pain.
The mental pain is cloudin' over me, like a night with bad rain.
And if you leave right now, I don't know I can face another day.
Now we've talked, what do you say?
Can you love me for who I am and please stay?