Be My Valentine? No? Oh. Poem by Dan Brown

So it's Valentine's Day soon.
Wow.
Excuse me for not getting over-excited,
but all my 14th of February's have been blighted
by refusals, rejections and a time when I heard
‘Smelly Sally Sancaster' fancied me,
and was buying me a gift.
She had that name for a reason.
So I, obviously, avoided her.
And she, obviously, was rather miffed.
These red roses and teddies with hearts on them?
They sicken me.
And all these fools who so willingly buy them,
must surely be a whole lot thicker than me.
If you ask me, it's shameless exploitation.
It's the deliberate and malicious degradation
of love between two people.
Mind, there was once a time when I was given a rose
by the most perfect boy alive.
If my memory serves me correctly, though,
I believe I was only five.
In hindsight, I should have said ‘Yes'
to his marriage proposal.
Instead of refusing and eating the ring.
I point this out because it's my point of view.
Not because I‘m jealous or bitter..
I mean, I could get a Valentine in a blink.
It isn't sour grapes or anything like that.
Well, I don't think.