Nicole Nieder


Broken Inside - Poem by Nicole Nieder

I can’t help it, no. I can’t help it.
Why? This life. uh. no. It ain’t perfect.
This life ain’t how it used to be.
Coming home from school,
Chillin’ with my family.
Life used to be so simple; plain and sweet.
Now it feels like I got a daily struggle and that ain’t right
No that ain’t right.
My families been struggling, struggling hard.
Ever since I been out playing in the yard.
Mom and dad been arguing a lot.
Now they’re separated and people say this happens more often than not.
But I don’t understand
I thought they loved us?
This is so tough.
Tough on us and my mom and dad.
divorce is final and now, now he’s dead.
Daddy died and it broke my heart
What do I do, where do I start?
How am i supposed to pick myself up again.
I don’t feel right, I feel like I’m at my end.
All broken inside, why, do I, even think I can try? why?
why do i even think i can try?


All broken inside, why, do I, even think I can try?
I can’t help it. no. I can’t help it.
Why? This life. uh. no. It ain’t perfect.
This life ain’t how it used to be.
Now I sad, mad, upset, and depressed
How can I REPRESS this entire mess
I once had it going for me.
Ever since i dont even wanna be around my family.
like. its bad..and it shouldn’t be.
I used to feel so loved.
I guess, from now on, I’m only loved, loved from Above.
Above and beyond. He has no limits, had no limits
he gone. so long. but only in my heart
forever there, i can see it so clear
I miss him.
Cause he was the happiness
the happiness i no longer see
to be happy used to be something i needed
now I’m living just fine
Taking each day one step at a time
After all this time, I’ve been on the edge of the fault line
ready to cross into the divine.
but my sadness is still overcoming me


All broken inside, why, do I, even think I can try?
I can’t help it. no. I can’t help it.
Why? This life. uh. no. It ain’t perfect.
This life ain’t how it used to be.
All my smiles.
They are fake smiles.
Smiles just to cover up.
The depressed mind that’s been coming up
cut it out
that's what they tell me; its all a joke
no one can feel that bad, that sad.
but they don’t understand why i feel the way i do
no one saw it from my point of view
But i can fake it.
Fake a smile.
For her, for him, for everyone
I’ll fake it for my future daughter and future son
Cause they won’t ever see mommy hurting that bad
i won’t ever let them see me so sad.
cause i’m gonna love them with all i got.
And I ain’t gonna ever stop
Ever.
Not ever gonna stop.
loving them with all I got.


I can’t help it. no. I can’t help it.
Why? This life. uh. no. It ain’t perfect.
This life ain’t how it used to be.
One day I won’t be this broken inside
because I, I will survive
You haven’t seen the end of me
cause this pain, it hasn’t broken me
but it’s inside of me
its controlling me and taking over me.
but trust me, you haven’t seen the last of me.
i will build myself up.
And i will redevelop
myself.
for everyone that doubted
that i was not good enough
i will show them, my strength and power
to succeed.
for my future family
cause they are all i need
with my future family i will succeed.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, June 5, 2015

Poem Edited: Friday, June 5, 2015


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