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gulsher JOHN


CASTAWAY


Can’t you see my strong pulsation?
Beating in persuasion
And longing for for lost
Sensation.
I
Once
Thy pride
A sweet loving bride,
My swollen breast and rosy cheeks
Coral lips and hazel eyes
And a fairy's charm
Ah! Sank and
Gone.
By a stroke of fate
Lost my faith, in love, in care,
And now I host a never ending fear.
Don’t know how and why
Like a fallen angel
Cast off the sky.
Now
Thou art gone
And I have nothing
But few solemn tears
and leading steps to doom
for my love and for my groom.

Submitted: Thursday, June 06, 2013
Edited: Thursday, August 01, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

A gift for some auspicious moments

Comments about this poem (CASTAWAY by gulsher JOHN )

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  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (7/13/2013 1:54:00 PM)

    ok. after reading a message from G.j. today, i have looked at the poem again. i now notice more than i did before that the lines get longer and then shorter and then longer and then shorter......... it makes for an interesting
    picture if one just concentrates on how the poem looks, not how it sounds or reads. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (7/11/2013 8:18:00 PM)

    ok...one more comment. the comment, below, starting with in the line... was written and i thought submitted before the comment starting i read the poem. i guess i got sidetracked when i added the poem to my poemlist, and i forgot to submit the first one i wrote. got it? (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (7/11/2013 8:15:00 PM)

    in the line: ......And long for lost....do you mean longing for lost? that would follow the example set by beating, if i understand what you are saying.

    i think there are some other subtleties of wording and punctuation which seem a bit odd to me. but i believe i have managed to understand the gist of what you are saying and i like the poem. i'll even send it to my poemlist. thanks for sharing. bri (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (7/11/2013 8:13:00 PM)

    i read the poem and read the comments. i wonder if some of the readers thought the bride was really a fallen angel....i mean an angel from heavan. well, maybe it is so. i was thinking of humans. is this about God and the Devil, the fallen angel? ? ? cast out of heavan? ? ? i guess i might understand it more if the poem did NOT refer to humans; i was having trouble with that. i'm more of a writer who doesn't cleverly hide things in poems. maybe it is because i am not too clever? ? ? (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,505 Points Dinesh Nair (6/18/2013 8:07:00 AM)

    There is enough of empathy and apathy shown towards the castaway groups in this world. I hope, Mr John your poem will auger well for the empathy spread across the spectrum of life we are exposed to. A fantastic poem John. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 88 Points Payal Parande (6/8/2013 2:24:00 PM)

    If the Lord should bring a wicked man to heaven, heaven would be hell to him; for he who loves not grace upon earth will never love it in heaven....wonderful write sir just wonderful.. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 812 Points Unwritten Soul (6/8/2013 11:14:00 AM)

    Oh once a butterfly comes to me, a solitary daisy, with such beautiful wings, you dance on my soul...dance over the scent of my love that swarming around, days just a moment of seconds, preoccupied with the feelings...as soft as evening breeze, as smooth as midnight waltz we danced by hearts...but then you gone, left my petals far away..so they fall, and i weaker after you gone...spring comes in short time, we do adore summer to everlast but then come to autumn you gone and before winter i died...how sorrow life is when happiness is taken from us..lovely write Gulsher! _SOul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 303 Points Poetheart Morgan (6/8/2013 10:38:00 AM)

    Sad because her love was scorned. Not a harbinger of love, but a deep love, urging for more. And that hurts. The lady was left alone on her castle. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 1 Points Irum . (6/8/2013 10:08:00 AM)

    Nice depiction of a gloomy heart and very beautiful comparison of present and past...very sensitively expressed.
    keep up good work! (Report) Reply

Read all 24 comments »

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