Marieta Maglas

Rookie - 155 Points (19-05-1964 / Radauti, Judet Suceava, Romania)

Cleopatra


Under the mask of gold,
I see only venomous snakes,
Poisoning her name forever....

Submitted: Sunday, May 17, 2009
Edited: Tuesday, June 21, 2011

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  • Rookie - 21 Points Nivedita Bagchi SPC UK (1/7/2010 10:53:00 AM)

    Yeah it’s true…but Beauty of Cleo…undoubtedly non venomous in eyes of beauty admirers …
    10 not for venom…but for beauty of dear Cleo
    Ms. Nivedita
    UK (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 21 Points Bob Genevro (12/8/2009 12:22:00 PM)

    Hi Marieta,
    'Cleopatra' works well as haiku. I like the gold and asp references because they are two images at opposite ends tugging with each other. Cleopatra still has that animal magnetism that attracts writers and readers. I'm wondering if you're going to keep playing and experimenting with haiku. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 21 Points Fergus Condron (11/20/2009 7:45:00 AM)

    Hi Marieta,

    You started so well......too short, you could really make this great, remember how she was used by Ceaser, then cast aside by Mark Anthony.....the venomous snakes were the men in her life.....you have a good style but if you sit back and think of the great nation of Egypt and all the pressure on her, you could really make this a tragic poem, you have the skill to do it...why not? I only gave you a 4 this time.....but await you to resubmit or penn a new one? A challenge from me to you....... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 13 Points Ramin Chaman (11/7/2009 1:57:00 AM)

    a famous queen of Egypt


    ...
    Hello Mari

    a nice poem..and compact.. indeed a good write..

    for this 10+

    . (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 29 Points Philip Winchester (10/3/2009 4:51:00 AM)

    Many a true word spoken in but a small sentence.
    You have nailed it with this one, I sometimes take Five
    Hundred words to say as much, but can recognise your
    brevity as true CLASS.
    Well written and Thanks for your note.
    Kind Regards
    Philip (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 29 Points Agnes Parker (10/2/2009 7:31:00 AM)

    An interesting write on Cleopatra....you have focussed on her tragic end...good job (Report) Reply

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