Confusion Poem by Angelique' Rockwell

I wrote you a letter
Not knowing what would come back
But what I got in return
Only reminded me of what I lack

It made me laugh
It made me cry
I don't know how you feel
I wonder what part is a lie

You said you missed me and the kids
You said you'd fix this when you got out
At the end you said you loved me
So what was it all about?

You want me to send money
Which you know I'll do when I can
But were you sweet to get my help?
With you I never know where I stand

You're the only one that matters right now
The only one I want to make proud
While you've been gone I really screwed up
And I'm afraid to admit it out loud

I can't tell you now what I've done
On paper it'll sound even worse
I only wish it had been you
But maybe that's part of my curse

You did try to keep me straight
So to you I will never lie
But please don't ask me specifics
Because telling you will make me cry

So here it is - I'm pregnant
Just another life for me to ruin
And I know exactly what you'll say
'You don't know what the hell you're doin'!

04/14/07