Curse Poem by Shruti Goswami

Curse you, using a thousand words,
But none comes to my mind.
And I feel I am suddenly
Like flowing water intercepted;
Stumped for vocabulary.
Hate you,
Like I hate all things cold and dead;
Why then does your very thought
Warm the cockles of my heart?
Why can I not do what I want to?
When I want to? How I want to?
So in turn I start cursing my own self;
And words flow like flood water,
As I utter each word aloud in my mind.
I couldn't care less; I don't care anymore,
This whole life's like a curse;
And I am living it so well.
Pretty pleased with myself, I am;
Feeling rather proud,
How I can live with all, and even without.
I am independent, and did I mention
Self sufficient, strong and liberal;
I will self liberate, and liberate you
To the point that even you crib for death
And it would elude.
Feeling a sense of deep satisfaction,
At the nasty thoughts that flood,
I feel I could murder someone,
Slowly, silently, in cold blood.
But all that I get is pain within;
Scattered hither and thither,
I slowly pick my pieces up,
I cannot let them wither.