'Dance In The Wind' Poem by Whitney Nicole Albright*
'Dance In The Wind'
A father and child walk in the garden lane
Under the flourescent trees which reign
It's the garden of Eden in modern day
They gather flowers for babies' bouquet
She's an angel who carries a glare
And wings? Oh, she has a pair
Yes, she's his world
This sweet little blonde headed girl
Daddy tucks a daisy behind her ear
She claps her hands and starts to cheer
Oh a moment filled with harmony and bliss
She thanks her daddy with a juicy kiss
And she runs off and that flower takes a spin
Dance little daisy, dance in the wind
A father and woman walk in the garden lane
Under those flourescent trees which reign
Still the garden of Eden in modern day
They gather flowers for the bride's bouquet
She's an angel who carries a glare
And wings? Oh, she has a pair
Yes, she's his world
This sweet, beautiful blonde headed girl
Daddy tucks a daisy behind her ear
She smiles and lets go of a tear
Oh, a moment filled with harmony and bliss
She thanks her daddy with a juicy kiss
And she walks off and takes a spin
That little daisy gets caught in the wind
Dance little daisy, dance in the wind!
To be honest I was going to pass upon this because of the rhyme. I’m glad that I didn’t allow my narrow-mindedness to get the better. The rhyming in this is great and seems a bit odd to be in the form you have written it in. I would have thought that it would read better in quatrains. but that would be too obvious and it also wouldn’t work. The way it is written is not to support the rhyme but for the narration to flow and so the rhyme supporting the narrative. This has a lot of beautifully constructed lines and the repetition of certain lines and sentiments is great and works well. I hope you will forgive me but in the line ‘... the garden of Eden in it's modern day ‘ you might like to try it without the ‘its’. To me it sounds so much better.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 9:02:06 PM # 1.0.0.1119
whitney... this is such a pretty poem. it made me smile because of the the little girl who ended up being the bride. very touching. was this a real life experience or just something that came to you? either way it was worth reading. -sarah