Dreaming Of You Poem by Em Jay Christian

I open my eyes,
Only to realize,
That I had been dreaming of you.
I promised myself I would stop,
I wouldn't think of you.
It's not that I miss you,
So don't get your hopes up,
I just can't stand not seeing you.
I want to hate you,
God knows I wish I could,
I wish I had it in me to hate.
I wish I could kick you in the face.
I would give everything I've got,
For hatred in my brain,
So I could wish that you would rot,
So I could be mean to you,
I want to.
I have never wanted to be mean,
Or angry,
Or obscene.
It is you who make me this way,
You wished for a different girl,
You even found one,
Well I have finally changed,
I've become a putrid,
Ugly thing.
You must be proud.
And no, I can't stand the pain,
But I won't tell you that,
I won't tell anyone,
I can't say that out loud.
So before I go to bed,
I'll pour bleach into my ear,
Let it wash you from my brain.
I will dream of bunny slippers,
And summer days,
And punk rock,
And rain.
My brain will bring these pictures,
But the bleach will have erased you,
Through and through.
So I will smile and play for once,
And not even know,
That I'm still dreaming of you.