Ace Of Black Hearts

(04/17/1984 / Homa Lousiana)

Exactly How I Feel


I wish I could say I am better then everybody else.
But yes, but yes even I make mistakes that cause hearts to ache.
Nobody immune to love, or hate.
They are the one and the same.
Just one extreme emotion to the next.
It's not really that complex.
But you are the greatest guy, you could never hurt a woman.
That is just not so, physically I couldn't but mentally when you love someone, words just come spilling out.
Like a fountain forever flowing.
Never knowing how to shut it off.
The more angry, the more ugly it gets.
The words cut so deep.
Releasing every ounce of poison put in me.
Yes I'm horrible, yes it is not honorable.
I never said I was perfect.
I'm just as human.
I'm just as vulnerable.
The difference is people seem to think I'm stronger, I'm somehow nicer then they are.
That isn't necessarily so.
A weakness under a shroud, doesn't mean they are that far off par.
Disperse my feelings in a jar.
Bottled up, and hushed.
Please be quiet people want you to be something you are not.
I'm sorry that is not how it works.
I will not be silent and swallow a bunch of happy pills.
I will tell you exactly how I feel.
It is how you know I'm real.

Submitted: Monday, May 06, 2013
Edited: Thursday, November 21, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Describing how it feels to be held to higher standard. Anybody who has even held the slightest fame in any part of there lives knows exactly what I'm talking about. It always easier to follow then lead. Setting the example, but who would lie to keep the fame, the name, be the champion. It is the reason I hate fame, it tries to make you into something you are not. So occasionally you need to destroy it.

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