Fading Poem by Windsor Guadalupe Jr

I could kiss the candlelight
As if vanishing in the scented night,
And your name would remind me of sepulchers.

I could embrace the twilight,
As if imagining that this was our night,
Only fathoming that this is but a curse.

I am writhing, with my soul disembodying
Melding with the torment that I long kept like a mother's warmth
Now tethered to my whole existence

Whenever I see your visage,
They remind me so much of mornings spent in the balcony
Where the Sun were the size of your eyes

And then too close you are to me,
It would incinerate the nothingness that I have become,
Buried deep enough, a languid soul gasping for fetid air

To describe what pain I feel,
Is like reading in eternal fathoms an eloquently bound book
But in a language that you cannot decipher

As if I have wrapped myself, spun in a web
Just to sleep for the night, Alas, I have not woken up
With my body straight and lenient, I assume the deathly hollow

My faith is tested, a priest comes rushing,
I am sorry Father, my faith is weak
And I have denied scriptures to esteem myself with such hope

If I have to move on, then I should drag my feet
Not towards a door inclined to a new beginning,
But towards the edge of a cliff, all too tempting.

If God does not play dice,
Then He must have been playing roulette,
Where my body spirals into a divinity of weeping sirens.

I have exhausted myself in poetry,
That speaks so much of a forlorn man beguiled in the transatlantic
Self-pity and a feeling that fades with the wind like a spec of dust.

In conversations that I engage,
I utter words as if requiems and eulogies.
Would you still talk to me, amid my adversity?

If I am to scheme with an omnipotent being,
To plot my own demise altogether with the dissipation of snow in the ocean,
I'd asphyxiate myself, with the locks of your hair.